Tuesday, February 18, 2014

Cupid's Near Death Experience

  • Ok, so I didn't almost KILL that frolicking chubby & winged marksman, but for most of February 14, I seriously wanted to slap the crap of that little bugger. The easiest way to describe my Valentine's Day this year is via a timeline, complete with pictures.
  • Valentine's Day Eve, I do believe is where I made my first & most crucial mistake. I jinxed myself by revealing my plans to the Facebook universe, hence making me feel accountable to people other than myself. Yep, I should have known to just keep my nose to the grindstone and my mouth shut until February 15. Alas, here is where the story begins:
      
  • Sweet gesture, n'est pas? I thought so. I just wish I could make myself understand that "going Big" isn't always necessary to get my point across. Just because I really wanted to demonstrate how grand my love & appreciation are, I didn't have to physically create something that would compare by its impressiveness. What was my plan? I wanted to capitalize on our view of the Atchafalaya River by setting up a night time picnic in our back yard. I know that sounds like a simple enough plan, but... I was going to set up a canopy, complete with strings of tiny lights, billowy fabrics, several mason jars hanging down all around us- some filled with candles & others with fresh flowers... you know, "magical".  Everyday for the 10 days prior I'd checked the forecast. It was going to be a clear day & night/Highs in the upper 60's/Lows in the mid 40's. I also knew that it was going to be a full moon (perfect, since we love to watch it reflect off of the water). I had my playlist ready with all of our favorite songs (old & new). I picked out an easy to create dessert. I'm admittedly not the greatest cook, so I scoped out the menus of local restaurants & called ahead to make sure the one I chose would in fact prepare my chosen meal, to go, since I knew it was going to be a busy night for them. My hubby is not a wine drinker, but he pretends to be on special occasions because he knows I love it & love the idea of sharing a bottle with him. This is why, I scoured the internet for a wine or champagne that even non-wine drinkers would enjoy. I spent Thursday night going over my carefully crafted road map of how I needed to assemble my vision. I even tried to give myself deadlines during the day so I could stay on task and complete it all with enough time to get all dolled up as if we were going out to dine. I really thought that I had covered all of my bases. I truly did... Then, I woke up Valentine's morning.
  • Even though I was anxious & excited to put my plan into action, I still found it difficult to make my body move as fast as my mind was telling it to. I'd stayed awake much too late the night before & it appeared that every inch of my physical being was now very pissed off. That was ok, nothing that extra cups of coffee couldn't fix. I dressed and headed outdoors to set up the canopy. The day's weather was not what I expected. It was overcast, a bit humid and windy. I checked the radar to confirm that my parade would not get rained on, then I rolled the carrying case to my chosen spot. This was a canopy that my husband had purchased about a year ago but had never been used. The fact that I've set up several canopies during my previous job combined with the large letters that spelled out QUICK SHADE on the bag were encouraging that this process would be QUICK. *Neg-a-tive!* There was absolutely NOTHING quick about setting up this evil contraption! The instructions were vague & even though I was doing EXACTLY as directed I made very little progress. The havoc being wrecked on my nerves at this point caused all sorts of not-so-nice thoughts to start running through my head. For example, 
  •   I struggled for longer than I should have allowed myself to, then opted to call my Mom & Dad. (Nothing like getting your parents on the phone to ask for assistance in putting together a romantic arena. I had no choice, my entire "design" revolved around this stupid structure.) Thankfully, they agreed to come to my rescue before heading out for the day with plans of their own. My parents, God bless them. They love me and will do what they can to help me when I need them; even when they may think that my ideas are outrageous, fool hearted or don't stand a chance in hell of working out the way I want them to, they will lend a hand. My mom smiled & tried to keep me upbeat since she could tell I was already starting to panic about being behind my own schedule. My dad grumbled & sighed much less than he would have if he had been setting up this beast of metal & fabric for his own gathering. I appreciated every bit of it. With their assistance, the canopy was completed. While extremely grateful, I was also increasingly concerned about the windy conditions. Not only did it appear that the foundation in this blueprint could be blown into the river at any moment, I could just imagine how the potential gail forces would effect that evening's set up.
  • Did I mention that I had my 2 year old daughter in tow during the entire set up process? Somehow, when I was mapping out the day's itinerary, I forgot that detail. I also failed to remember that I should schedule time to feed her, change her diapers, and oh yeah... time for her to be a typical 2 year old. This led to my first status update of the day:
  • My little sweetheart. She's a trooper and just LOVES to be helpful, as long as it's on her conditions. I finally did get clothing on that body of hers and we headed out to get the remainder of my supplies. I only had TWO stops to make and they were across the street from each other. With my list in hand, I knew I would have to shop as fast as possible to make up for lost time. We arrived at our first destination, a dollar store. (Hey, trust me, the best way to make my hubby's day is to spend as little money as possible.) I open the back door of my vehicle to find a tiny princess in a deep sleep. No problem, I'll just carry her, push the cart and shop with one hand, and I that's exactly what I did. I was starting to feel hopeful again as I loaded up my daughter and drove over to our second stop.  I was quickly able to find the original items on my list. By now, the princess was awake and informing me that she was hungry. (Oh yeah, I guess I should feed her.) I only had one thing left to buy and that was something not planned until that morning. I decided I needed to purchase a tarp or something to put around the perimeter of the canopy to help block the wind. Again, I didn't want to spend a lot of money and I don't exactly know my way around the hardware section. So as I cruised in that vicinity, I tried to multi-task: distracting my daughter from her hunger pangs and simultaneously calculating measurements and prices in my head. I eventually found what I needed and managed to get the heck out of there. 
  • Now running VERY behind, I get back home and with help from my new assistant, my daughter, I attempt to attach plastic sheeting around the canopy. I really wish I would have noticed the alert on my phone, reporting a Strong Wind Advisory in our area for the next 3 HOURS! Yes, that would have saved me a lot of time & teeth grinding. On the bright side, my little peanut learned how to follow more complex directions, how to mimic grunting sounds that depict utter frustration and she may or may not have been introduced to a new colorful word or two. My plans were rapidly going down in flames and my mental & emotional stability were questionable at best.
 
  •  Finally, I realized that I was no match for Mother Nature and I had to call the man of the hour himself to help me out with my contingency plan.
  •  "Plan B" involved a large camping tent that we've had for over a decade. I wasn't even sure of where it was stored, but if I had found it, I knew I would not be able to put it together on my own... especially now. (For the record, my original agenda had me getting dressed at this point so I could pick up our meal at 6:30 p.m., get it plated all nice & pretty and we would be enjoying our lovely diner by 7 p.m. Here it was 4 p.m., I had absolutely NOTHING completed. Hubby was just arriving at home with our boys. It was time to get all the kiddies packed and off to my in-laws for the night. While I did that, the hubster set up his "surprise" tent and chopped extra fire wood.) I checked the clock and suddenly it was 5:30 p.m.; I still was not finished setting everything up inside, neither my husband nor I had showered and he had to leave again to deposit our children with his family. I explained to him about the decadent meal I planned and we both decided that we should wait for another time to indulge... A later date when we could really sit down and enjoy it, because by now we were both starving, the kids had been fighting & moving at a snail's pace since they returned from school and I was "a bit" frazzled. So, pizza it would be! Great! I was okay with that. I even preferred using the tent over the canopy. It was a more intimate setting. (Oh yes, about 15 minutes after Marty started to set up the tent, the wind completely calmed down. Go figure!) Let's recap: My Guest of Honor has now set up the tent that I'm using to "surprise" him with, he's chopped the wood needed for the fire pit, he's dealing with the screaming kids while I finish getting everything together AND he's picking up our dinner, which will now be in a cardboard box. LOVELY! Then I was alone at home again, feeling determined to maintain as much of my original idea as possible. It was around the time that I decided against hanging mason jar candles from the ceiling (because the way this day was going, I had no doubt I was going to set everything ablaze)... this is when I remembered that I put the two bottles of "wine" in the freezer to help them chill faster. They should have been ok, right? They were only in there for 3 hours or so. With a sinking feeling, I rushed to the freezer door, opened it and found this:
  • Seriously? I thought alcohol wasn't supposed to freeze. Thankfully I'd also picked up his favorite beer & kept it out of the freezer. I called him up while I'm laughing hysterically. OF COURSE THE WINE BOTTLES EXPLODED! Why wouldn't they? He asked me to text him a picture of the crime scene and offered to stop at the store on the way home to buy more.
  • Finally, at 7 p.m. he is back home with pizza and more wine. He's still in his work clothes & I'm still decked out in yoga pants, a t-shirt & baseball cap. We decided to eat, have a couple glasses of wine then get cleaned up. He humored me by going inside the house so I could make sure to complete any little details that I still insisted upon. When he walked up to see the results of my planning & stress, he was sincerely taken back. He was so excited that he later posted this onto his facebook account: 
  •  I've heard many times, "All's well that ends well." So, I guess in the end, it was...all well? Seriously, all of that day's mishaps were worth it & made me realize how much I really do need him around. We make a great team and I'm only as strong as my counterpart. So what if my original idea of grandeur was scaled down. I managed to accomplish my goal, making my husband feel special. So what if we didn't get dressed up for a special occasion. Snuggling up next to a camp fire & star gazing in flannel pajamas is more our speed anyway. Fortunately for Cupid, we had an amazing evening, so that cherub lived to fly another day.

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